Perjalanan dan Ketentuan

menyusuri...
perasaan
yang tidak pernah
diminta
tercetus...
tiba-tiba
.
.
.
meniti laluan...
kemustahilan
dengan secebis
...harapan
kepada ketentuan

Two Way Perseverance

inspiration…
motivation…
the journey starts
.
.
.
…have patience
…don’t lose faith
lest the journey ends
...halfway

For The Love Of God

I am beauty
I love beauty
I manifest
I see beauty
I manifest
I see Me
without this love to be
there can be no world in Me

Love Hurts

love hurts
when you cannot be
with the one you love
when your beloved
separated from you
you want it to be
always face to face
to be in your sight
always in embrace
behold Aliff,
love hurts
but never you

Ramble On

there is always a point
a point of time
no beginning
no end
no past
no future
just now forever
Aliff, the one you see
for couple of moments
in practice
when your mind is silent
doesn’t it seems
everything stops
do you feel any fear?
do you feel any desire?
but the mind plays on you
again and again
makes you think
you are in time
but in actual
time is in you
in your mind
and the mind is in you
for in deep sleep
the mind cease to be
but you not
upon waking up
you confess
you had a good night sleep
shows you are
sleep is night
awake is day
unmanifest
manifest
unmanifest…nothing seems to be
manifest…everything be
unmanifest…unmoved, unchanged
manifest…moving, changing
the mind makes you moving
keep you wander far off
from your true abode
like catching your shadow
stop running
and touch your head!
stop moving
and you at it
stop searching
and you get it
.
.
.
.
what am I talking here ????
will average man understand ????
who cares anyway…

Don't Go Round About

because of your existence
you know you are
you know the world is
there cannot be a miss
this consciousness
of which your beingness
of which you feel total
is your only capital
stabilize there
meditate on it
how ‘you’ has appeared
what caused it
Aliff, find out
don’t go round about
go straight to the source
it is the only course

Sweet Pain

have you ever felt
you wanted something
but you can never get it
something inspiring
beautiful
haunts you
you want to see it
touch it
hold it near
caress it dear
but something stops you
like a barrier
crush it you’ll break
that beautiful thing
will also breaks
the thing you most
don’t want to happen
it always pulled you back
when you drowned
by emotions
frustrated
don’t know what to do
at the same time
never cease feeling
soothe and pleasant
admiring
from distance
though it hurt
but you're still happy
it's sweet pain
you can never complain

Within

sitting quietly
in a dark room
let go
eyes closed
breathing…
deep
going inside
deeper
bluish light
surrounding
a speck of white light
between eyebrows
descending further
to the centre
a straight line
appear
Aliff Cahaya!

Love To Be

you’re in search of love
to love or to be loved?

love is nobler and deeper
to be loved is sweet
were you a time traveler
wouldn’t you want to always meet

it is all so sweet
it is all so alluring
you want to delve in
but wait…
what exactly are you looking

can you love on your own
or must you be made to
what you have can you disown
what you search, do you have a clue?

unless there is love…there will be no happiness

but…does love always make you happy?

when the beloved suffers
don’t you suffer too
do you cease to love
because you suffer
must love and happiness
come and go together?
or love merely
expectation of pleasure?

what is love?...state of being?...state of mind?

ignorance of yourself
has cover up love and happiness
you will always be
in a state of remorse
because what you are searching
you have never lost

Aliff, love is will
will to share your happiness
being happy…making happy
is the rhythm of love
for love…is from Love
to love…is Love
be happy…to love
be content…to Be

Still In Me

crunching guitar riff
pounding the drums
running the bass line
not merely strums

growling vocals
shrieking voice
clashing metals
pleasant noise

amazingly fast rhythm
at breakneck speed
the likes of boy band
surely couldn’t keep

imaginative lyrics
death and gothics
adrenalin drives
stage-dive!

spit out the anger
excites the headbanger
tension releaser
boredom crusher

neck ache
bleeding ears
still in me
after 25 years

Hey Bird! Long Time No See

hey bird!
long time no see
I knocked at the door
only to wait and see
I followed my intuition
so confident she’s in
hurriedly I get into the net
but my knock never get buy-in
gone, was the joy that leaped
bored, I’m going to sleep

A Recollection

coolness in the eyes, watching the face
to the heart, soothes and solace
the chemistry, so jive
the smile, mesmerise
the voice the expression
just watch just listen
warm-hearted, feel being cared for
to the old habit, will settle the score
meeting, the heart taken
leaving, the longing heightened
Aliff, the praises like a cup full
the only word left is…beautiful

Do You Remember You Being Born

do you remember you being born
do you experience it
do you ever asked to be born
can you recall it

someone told you
you take it for granted
the mind plays on you
never been investigated

once you were a baby
…you are
then you grew as a kid
…yet you are
then a fully grown man
…still you are
you are now an old man
… you know you are

your appearance changes
you are…never changes
the same beingness
care-full or care-less

know…you are
feel…you are
stick to…you are
ask…who you are?

are you really being born
how you get birth
Aliff, never mind the moron
to this illusion…unberth!

Ramadhan

Ramadhan menjenguk lagi
sebulan dalam setahun
tapi semangatnya harus ada
sepanjang masa

bulan untuk berlapar dahaga?
itu hanya simbolik saja
hikmah Ramadhan
untuk menguji ketahanan

menahan dari kesedihan
menahan dari kegembiraan
yang membawa kealpaan
akan sebenar kewujudan

yang indah menggoda
yang buruk mencuriga
bertindak padahnya alpa
hanya menyaksi saja

menguji ketahanan
mengasah perjuangan
tinggal dalam penyaksian
itulah maksud Ramadhan

cinta menggamit
pantas melayan
untuk rasa sekelumit
bimbinglah Aliff, wahai Ramadhan

Where Do I Put?

happiness being snatched away
in the midst of joy
of something
I always long for
so sudden…
flabbergasted…
dumbfounded…
at this wee hour
sweet lips turned sour
at this wee hour
a misdemeanor?
then I realized
situation has never favour
time always envy
distance cuts me
no one to blame
accept it as it is
but where do I put
this heart so heavy
then so light, fly it could
but now, I should carry

Beauty

when I see beauty
my heart never eclipse
waterfall and calm sea
red roses and tulips
music and poetry
the sight of kitten sleeps
but the only beauty
that in my mind never slips
are her smile and glee
her sweet face and dearly lips

Intimate Dream

grabbed me by the neck
she pulled me closer
to her face
her mouth gently opened
…so inviting
her lips touched mine
her breath…excites me
light kiss turned passionate
…so intimate
how can I forget
the kiss
longing to get
sweet bliss

A Droplet

the sky, so high…unreachable
the sea, vast and endless
the land, whole life walking
mountains, so tall so grand
thunder, lightning, storm
scares this little body
shakes like earthquake
but...
only when awake
because...
all these vanish
in deep sleep…
when I am, the body appear, the world is
Aliff, many knows
thousands of tiny droplet in ocean
but how many knew
an ocean in a droplet?

Never Learn

The Wise Old Man said
never expect anything to happen your way
never anticipate delirium
heart that used to fly
now hard to drag
smile that flows freely
now made
...don't live in the future
The Wise Old Man did say
follow your heart
never doubt it
don’t let your mind interfere
sweet expression turns sour
...live in the present
Aliff!
when you ever going to learn!

Dia Muncul Lagi

dia muncul lagi
dengan gaya baru
rambut mengurai
mencecah bahu
tersenyum manis
seperti selalu

mata lantas terpaku
bibir tersenyum sendiri
wajah seindah itu
mampu ku tatap sepanjang hari

lagunya di tabir, berkumandang
hati ku di sini, tersenyum girang

Istimewa

seraut wajah
menyenangkan
bukan bidadari
namun sukar dilupai

sesuci hati
seramah budi
sering menyayangi
menggembirakan hati

selirik senyuman
sekalung kesopanan
terasa kehangatan
dibuai sentuhan

hati kemurungan
dipisah kejauhan
diusik kenangan
disapa kerinduan

tanpa diminta
tanpa disedari
perasaan berbunga
bermain di hati

bukan kerana kedudukan
bukan salah suasana
biarkan saja perasaan
kerna terlalu istimewa

Sad

the heart is sorrow the mood is low
the mind is slow the adrenalin doesn’t flow
as I woke up this morning the sun glow
as I get into bed tonight the smile doesn’t show

Here Fly

here fly,
not with wings

here fly,
just by seeing

here fly,
sweet and enchanting

here fly,
your pictures smiling

Pride

because of pride
you carry a heavy heart
get hurt when taken for granted
cannot accept when being disrespect
confrontation to uphold pride
unrest mind shall be your bride
your pride is your ego
get rid of it
get out of there
have no concern over little things
pride, use it only at a right place
for the well-being of nation
as a protector of religion
that’s when you wear
your Lam Jalalah
so say…
The Wise Old Man
…remember that Aliff!

Prayer

to my stolen piece…
peace to you
harmony to you
tranquility to you
happiness to you
a blessed life to you
these are my prayer
day and night
to know you suffer
suffer, I might

So Say, The Wise Old Man

“the world is just a show
glittering but empty
it is...
yet it is not
there, as long as it want to be seen
dissolve, when cease caring
no cause nor purpose
no depth nor meaning
it just happens
appears exactly as it looks
only the onlooker is real
to him, the world is a colourful show
he enjoys as long as it last
forgets when it is over
he may shudder in terror
he may roll with laughter
yet aware it is but a show
without desire and fear
he enjoys it”
so say...
The Wise Old Man.

Heart's Talk

the sweet face again and again flashing
can I stand admiring without desiring?
Aliff, behold!
it’s your reflection playing.

What A Surprise!

once I picked up a book
from a shelf in a shop
turning through the pages randomly
I stopped by where it written
to know God, recites “Allah, Allah” 66 times
every time after performing prayer
I did it for a couple of months
one thing leads to another
from one teacher to another teacher
and finally I came to know
The Wise Old Man
met him and sat with him
but what a surprise!
from him, I only know me
I never knew God.

The Way and The Key

notice, when you breathe in when you breathe out
know, it’s not a two-way traffic but a roundabout
practice, you may sit meditate you may chant aloud
but, only when your mind is silent…
can the Secret put its head out

Soothing

when you show you are caring
by itself the pain less aching
you have a good heart, I suppose
though you far, I feel so close

Trust

The Wise Old Man said
just trust me
you will find your trust justified
I can’t tell you
what is Inexpressible
I can only share you
how I traveled
who dare enough
to put the head on the chopping block
in front of a butcher
and still hoping
will not get chopped

Seeing From Afar

All forms come from no form
All sounds come from no sound
All movement dependant on unmovable
If everything changes how can it manifest
Unmanifested, how can it be named?
Unnamed, how can it be called form, sound, movement?
All appearance needs a background
A real, unchanged, unmoved background
From afar I see
How can there be you and me

Bitter Sweet

in the beginning
it was so sweet
in the end
it is so bitter

you sow a relationship
you reap only hardship

I should have listened
to The Wise Old Man who said
go for the tasteless...
no expectation
no anticipation
no sweet promises
no glaring hope

just be-ing…
in itself
a Blessing

No Longer Mourn

hey bird!
where you're gone?
I saw her today
my heart
no longer mourn!

Out of Mainstream

my views on religion are extreme
out of mainstream

my believe in one God
not like in school they taught

you may think God in heaven sitting on a chair
God to me is nowhere and is everywhere

my heart open to whatever come
to truth and honesty I succumb

I follow my heart so diligent
the Truth, is my religion

when Love visit me
no colour, no creed I see

when I fall for a sweet face
it’s Love that I embrace

I've always been out of mainstream
have very few friends it seem

Bird On The Tree

Hey! Bird on the tree
could you fly for me
and tell her
I miss her

Hey! Bird on the tree
could you fly for me
and tell her
I’m thinking of her

Hey! Bird on the tree
could you fly for me
and tell her
one day without her is unbearable

Hey! Bird on the tree
could you fly for me
and tell her
I’m longing for her

Hey! Bird on the tree
could you fly for me
and tell her
she has stolen a piece of me

Hey! Bird on the tree
could you fly me to her
to be with her, my stolen piece
to make my heart at ease

You Did Influence Me

sweet and cunning…
you make my head spin

good motivator…
quite lips turns heart’s orator

endless reminder…
old habit start to shudder

human touch, without hand…
melts the heart of this old man

the hmm… and the smiley…
you did influence me

Caring

you will know
someone really care for you
not when he gives you
happiness and joy
but in sorrow
for he is worry
when he know
you feel down and low

Dreaming

remembering…
the sweet meeting

wishing…
the hours rewinding

just sit…
listen to her talking

so close…
almost touching

smiling...
and exchange smiling

fulfilling…
the heart’s longing

I know…
I was dreaming

but the memories…
were so pleasing

the real meeting...
and the dreaming.

When Love Came Visit

sometimes
have you ever felt
you are in loving moods
so abundant
everything you see
you loved
that is when…
Love comes visit
Love makes your heart
wide open
make you feel so big
make you feel so light
when Love comes visit
you know it’s nothing new
like an old friend
you knew it so well
when it resides in the heart
for Love is our true nature
today Love came visit me
touched me
embraced me
but when Love left me
I’m back to me
of memory.

A Lesson

once an old friend came visits
knowing from someone
I can entertain his mind
proudly declared
he is disciple
of the one who receive
divine inspiration
I spill few pearls
only to receive
heretic
as a title
why learn
if you just want
to be accepted
by people.

Never Lost

someone said to me
he is seeking God
my answer to him
you cannot find Him
it is an impossibility!
not that He is so great
and you are so small
but…
you simply cannot find
something
that never lost
…your Being-ness
can you ever deny it?

Renungan Tajam

jika kau lihat orang berjalan
kenapa kau tak kata
baju dan seluar yang berjalan?

kerna kau maklum dan ketahui
baju dan seluar itu mati.

jika pula kau lihat anak telanjang berjalan
kenapa kau tak kata
kulit yang berjalan?

kerna kau tahu kulit hanya lapisan
siapa pula yang buat anak berjalan?

ini jawab ku...................
secantik manapun cawan
arak juga yang memabukkan.

Doa

sebagaimana suara keluar dari dalam
begitu juga huruf timbul dari dakwat terpendam

dengan suara dan huruf kita berkata
dengan suara dan huruf kita meminta

kepada siapa hendak ku berkata
kepada siapa hendak ku meminta

lihatlah pada anting-anting, cincin dan gelang
bukankah hanya rupa dan nama
apakah semua perhiasan itu
kalau bukan emas semata

untuk apa mengangkat tangan
kalau hati penuh dengan ingatan

apa perlu lagi pada ucapan
kalau hati sentiasa rindukan kebaikan

doa itu bahasa hati
tiada huruf, tidak berbunyi.

aku lupa doa yang pernah ku hafal
sejak aku temui doa yang kebal

Pandangan 10 Sen Ku

I

Pada penyaksian
ada pengajaran.

Si penyaksi,
penyaksian,
yang disaksikan.

Ketiga-tiga itu satu,
tiada perceraian.

Jika kau lihat jarimu,
jari itu
tidak bercerai dengan mu.

Cuba kau lihat bukit
yang jauh sebatu,
bukit juga
tidak bercerai dengan mu.

Apa maknanya jarak?
Apa maknanya ruang?

Semua dalam mu
semua dalam Aku.

Akulah si penyaksi
selama-mana ada penyaksian.

Aku bukanlah yang disaksikan
selama-mana ada penyaksian.


II

Kalau kau cari Aku
cari dalam mu.

Jangan pergi ke mana-mana.
Jangan berjalan ke tempat lain.

Ramai berkata
orang yang mengenal Aku
…sesat.

Ketahuilah…
Anda hanya akan sesat
kalau anda berjalan.

Emas sudah ditangan mu
apa jua yang kau cari dari pintu ke pintu?


III

Aku mu itu
kukuh dan terang
sekukuh gunung
seterang siang
tidak mungkin dapat diruntuh
tidak mungkin dapat dipadam
walau dengan apapun.

Lihatlah dirimu
dapatkah kau nafi dirimu?


IV

Tinggal lagi…

Hanya perlu betulkan
tempat letak.

My favourite Hafiz's poem

My Sweet, Crushed Angel

--------------------------

You have not danced so badly, my dear,

Trying to hold hands with the Beautiful One.

You have waltzed with great style,

My sweet, crushed angel,

To have ever neared God's heart at all.

Our Partner is notoriously difficult to follow,

And even His best musicians are not always easy

To hear.

So what if the music has stopped for a while.

So what

If the price of admission to the Divine

Is out of reach tonight.

So what, my dear,

If you do not have the ante to gamble for Real Love.

The mind and the body are famous

For holding the heart ransom,

But Hafiz knows the Beloved's eternal habits.

Have patience,

For He will not be able to resist your longing

For Long.

You have not danced so badly, my dear,

Trying to kiss the Beautiful One.

You have actually waltzed with tremendous style,

O my sweet,

O my sweet crushed angel.

by Hafiz Shirazi

In A Second

years of searching
years of yearning
comes to an end
in a second

when the Word is spoken
so lucid

when the Light is seen
so vivid

in a second
mountains of doubt…
crushed into powder
like flipping a piece of paper

The Wonders Of All

to be alone
is to be with yourself
why fear yourself
why close the door
don’t give up your loneliness
so quickly
let it cut deeper and deeper
let layers after layers
of your imposed self-conditioning
falls off
until your mind suffocates
until I and You have no meaning
soon…
I will come and rescue You

O The Wondrous
how I wonder…
the simplest is the hardest
the nearest is the farthest

Arak Dalam Piala

biar ku reguk…
arak dalam piala
kerna itu saja cara yang ku tahu
kerna itu saja cara yang ada
secantik mana pun jua bentuk piala
arak jua yang ku mahu
arak jua yang ku cari
arak jua yang memabukkan aku…

Always In My Mind

Sun rise
it’s morning!
Wake up and still yawning
in a few moment…there’s you.

Get out of bed
freshen up…to face the day
the thought of you lingers…never sway.

A day’s work starts
meeting people, dealing with things
though I’m so keen
there is always you in between.

Time pass by, minute by minute
but my heart, there is you
in it.

A day’s work done
now is the time for the needy
in the midst of it
there is still you, surely.

The sun has long set
there is a feeling of regret
my heart is kinda sad
seeing you, I couldn’t get.

As energy fades
I crawl into the bed
just before I sleep
there is you again…your face creeps.

Tomorrow will surely come
the cycle will surely repeats
just like people in a cue…
thinking you, missing you
wanting to see you.

O you
I can’t stop my heart to rhyme
because you’re always in my mind.

Tetamu

Semua agama didunia,
Setiap kebudayaan bangsa,
Mengajar kita menyambut tetamu,
Menghormati dan melayani.

Ada tetamu yang diundang,
Tak kurang tetamu yang tidak diundang.

Ada yang kita suka kehadirannya,
Begitu juga yang tidak kita suka.

Tahukah anda tetamu yang tiada henti menjengah kita?

Bagaimana kita menyambutnya?

Setiap kejadian didepan mata,
Setiap suasana yang mencetus rasa,
Bagaimana kita menghadapinya?
Tidakkah terasa ia datang bertamu?

Kita marah, kita suka, kita sedih, kita gembira,
Kenapa ada rasa yang berbeda,
Kenapa ada tindakan yang tidak sekata,
Kenapa ada berpura-pura.

Kalau anda ahli agama,
Kalau anda budayawan bangsa,
Kenapa ada tetamu yang tidak diterima?

Renungkanlah,
Pengajaran berharga,
Perumpamaan orang-orang dahulu,
Seni dalam melayani tetamu.

Tetamu datang dan pergi,
Apa kesan dihati………….

IT

when we feel close together
when we feel attracted to each other
when the remembrance comes again and again.

don’t name IT
don’t define IT
it limits IT
just feel IT

if you can….
be IT.

Diam

Aku keluar lagi dari diriKu
ditarik oleh peristiwa yang berlaku
tertarik oleh keindahan yang membisu

Aku keluar lagi dari diriKu
oleh tanggungjawab
oleh sesuatu tanpa sebab

Aku keluar lagi dari diriKu
melayani rasa rindu
terasa menusuk kalbu

kenapa sukar
untuk sejenak….diam

tanpa rasa, tanpa kata

seketika….
ketika cahaya menyata
dari Qabqausain ke Fuad

seketika….
tatkala hilang semesta
diselimuti putih
ketika nyawa ku sangka melayang
dikejut oleh tangisan dibelakang.

kenapa sukar
untuk sejenak….diam.

If Only I Could Just Be

Wanting makes me suffer,
for what I want is transient …impermanent.

The roots of wanting is always for happiness,
yet I find it like a cycle, so vicious.

Wanting pleasure, fulfilling desire,
Shunning pain, afraid of fear.

They say the Self is complete,
for it is the reflection of the Almighty,
but desire and fear,
makes me lost it,
I feel so incomplete.

O Self…so near,
I can’t see.

O Self…the ultimate happiness,
I’m blinded by nearness,

If only I could just Be,
but to Be…
is not easy.

The Perceiver and The Perceived

The mind is there….for aid,
to the worldly activities.

The breath is there….life,
without it, the limbs are of no use.

The feelings…. is there too,
desire and fear….so familiar.

The body is there….so close,
so inviting,
I take it to be my abode.
Yet….
forgetting,
I take it to be me.

Step aside and see….

The mind….I can perceive,
The feelings….I can perceive,
The breath….I can perceive,
The body….all along with me.

If I can perceive all these….
can it be me?

I am the perceiver of what I perceived,
the very act of perceiving shows….
I cannot be what I perceived.

Seperti Kulit Bawang

Seperti kulit bawang,
lapisan demi lapisan dikupas,
dimanakah rasanya?

Rasa itulah bawang,
tanpa rasa,
apalah gunanya bawang.

Seperti kulit dibadan,
didalamnya darah, daging, urat, rawan,
tapi dimanakah hidupnya badan.

Nafas keluar masuk,
jantung berdenyut,
kita hidup.

Kita tahu,
kita ada kuasa,
kita merasa.

Kita melihat,
matakah yang melihat?

Kita mendengar,
telingakah yang mendengar?

Kita berkata-kata,
lidah dan bibirkah yang berkata-kata?

Pada dirimu,
siapakah yang berkata ‘aku’?

Ku lihat tubuh mayat,
kaku tidak bergerak,
dinamakan orang,
kematian.

Ku lihat diriku sendiri,
tiada beda,
zahirnya sama.

Apa yang ada padaku,
yang tiada padanya?
Aku bernyawa,
nyawa telah tinggalkannya.

Orang berkata, dia telah meninggal dunia.

Siapakah yang telah meninggalkan dunia?

Bukankah ia terbaring kaku disitu?

Kenapa ia tak berkata ‘aku’?

Siapa sebenarnya yang tiada disitu?

Kata Nabi,
ziarahilah orang mati,
supaya mengambil pengajaran.

Sungguh benar kata Nabi akhir zaman,
kini ku tahu aku bukan badan…………………..

Sumpahan Adam dan Hawa

Dikatakan………..dijadikan Hawa dari rusuk Adam,

Bukan dari kepala,
untuk dijunjungi,
bukan dari kaki,
untuk dijadikan pengalas.

Tapi dekat dengan lengan,
untuk dilindungi,
dekat dengan hati,
untuk dicintai.

Aku tertarik pada Hawa,
pada suara dan gurauan.
…………….asmara dana.

Aku tertarik pada Hawa,
pada kelembutan sentuhan.
…………….asmara tantra,

Aku tertarik pada Hawa,
pada rasa kenikmatan.
……………asmara sanggama.

Godaan yang mengasyikkan,
kemanisan yang sukar dilepaskan.

Meskipun kasih sayang tanpa nafsu,
aku tetap terbelenggu.

Tersentak……….

Kalau aku ini Adam,
bukankah Hawa pun aku jua?

Kerna menganggap aku lelaki,
aku terus terpenjara lagi………..